What's the stereotype for each instrument? How accurate?
Violins: They practice a lot. Uptight, competitive and cutthroat.
Violas: Quirky, like to knit and party. Fun to hang out with. Blamed for playing out of tune.
Cellos: Audience favorites and they know it. Play out of tune and blame it on the violas.
Basses: Late, unprepared, unbathed. Back-of-the-bus kids who joke around and like to grab beers after rehearsal.
Flutes: wooo woooOOOooo woooOOO woooOOOoooOOOooooOOOOoo
Oboes: twee twee twee tweeeeeeee. Also the tuning instrument.
French Horns: waaaaaaaaaaaAAAA*crack*AAAAA
Clarinets: screee*SQUAWK*eeeeech
Bassoon: fart fart fart
Brass: Lovingly called brass-holes. Watch sports on their phones during rehearsal and make scatelogical jokes—or scatelogical noises with their mouth pieces. Loud people, loud playing. Will probably grab beers with the basses.
Percussion: You rarely see them except on stage because they’re always going early and staying after to set up tons of percussion instruments. Triangle players get paid the highest amount per note! Grab beers alone and just happened to run into the basses and brass players.
Harp: Always tuning, never in tune. Conductors pick on them a lot.
Conductors: Always have slicked back hair and take themselves waaaay too seriously.
What’s the truth?
Well, the stereotypes definitely aren’t not true, but there’s some missing nuance. Some of the negative characteristics (bad intonation, instrument squawks) have a lot to do the difficulties inherent to those instrument, and the things related to personality have a lot to do with the kind of music written for individual instruments (which is linked to the instrument’s range and aforementioned difficulties). Bass players aren’t dumb, it’s just our parts, along with tuba and sometimes cello and bassoon, is more about outlining basic harmonies instead of complex melodies. Violins don’t get the melody because they’re power hogs, composers give it to them.
Stereotypes are funny and make great cartoons, but the extent to which they make certain instruments seem less worthy or less attainable, they’re counterproductive and even harmful. How many 8th grade boys do you know that want to play flute or girls that want to play trombone? Stereotypes about who plays what limit the art form.
What’s the opposite of a stereotype?
It’s worth thinking about the redeeming qualities of each instrument. Here’s a few ideas I had for each instrument (which is by no means exhaustive):
Violins: Heart wrenching melodies; fast; fiddling; lots of concertos; leaders in the orchestra.
Violas: Deep; rich; harmony; creative; unique.
Cellos: Singing; bassy; versatile; sound like the human voice; romantic.
Basses: Deep; rhythmic; foundational; get to play jazz sometimes; can be lyrical and melodic too.
Flutes: Leaders in the orchestra, beautiful melodies, get to play fast sometimes, create wonderful textures; piccolo is small but powerful!
Oboes: Can say as much with one note as any other instrument can in 100 notes. Clear, piercing tone; lots of solos.
French Horns: Can sound the villain or the hero. Singing and loud. Mellow. Shiny tuby instrument that looks fun.
Clarinets: Texture; clear tone; can play incredibly soft and tender; lots of solos.
Bassoon: Very unique sound; play melody and texture with winds and also foundational bass material with basses and cellos.
Brass: Give the orchestra power! Yet also create stability and groundedness harmonically.
Tympani: Important! Have an incredible affect on the overall sound of the group. Very reliable people because there’s only one of them and everyone in the orchestra is listening to them for rhythm.
Percussion: Ambidextrous and organized! The entire orchestra listens to them for rhythmic stability. Get to play a lot of different instruments.
Harp: Add wonderful sparkle and color to the orchestra. Like a jewel on the orchestra’s crown.
Conductors: Work incredibly hard and know the music better than anyone else. Often wellsprings of musical knowledge that they use to inspire and unite an orchestra.
MORE STUFF
Cheeky Bassoons: A funny exploration of all the layers in an orchestra (with a hidden surprise…)
Public Service: Boston mayor plays Rhapsody in Blue with the Boston Pops orchestra
Music and the Brain: Opera Superstar, Renee Flemming talks about research done with the head of the NIH into using music to improve brain health and treat disease.
Everyone Loves Cello: Cellist, Kian Soltani, playing some beautiful music by Schubert.